L A Woman Read online

  Hondo said, “What’s up for today?”

  “I’ve already intercut the news videos of both of you as an intro, and will follow it with scenes of you two that will set a base location to start each show. For this first episode, the last five minutes will be to learn what you’re working on today. Future shows have the base location intro and then we go straight to your day’s work.”

  I said, “What’s this base location scene?”

  Emma looked excited, “What I thought is to film both of you at the beach. The credits roll as you come out of the ocean and walk to the office in your bathing suits, showcasing the Venice area, Los Angeles, your lifestyles, the fact that you’re actors, and the office’s location.

  We end it with both of you putting on your weapons and sitting at your desks with the morning’s coffee in front of you, ready to hit the streets.”

  She rummaged around in a shopping bag she carried and said, “I’ve got your suits here.” She brought out a tiny black spandex Speedo and handed it to Hondo, then pulled out a white one and handed it to me. “These will help separate you in the minds of the viewers.”

  Hondo looked at me as I held up the white one, which would be small on an eight-year-old, and said, “The water’s been cold lately.”

  I thought of myself being filmed in the white spandex suit as I came out of the cold ocean, shriveled to the size of a peanut. I had an image of that little advertisement playing every day to a television audience loaded with women. “Hey,” I said, “I’ve got my own suit.”

  Hondo said, “I thought so.”

  Emma said, “But the contrast of black and white, the yin and yang…”

  I said, “You want a reality show, I’m going to wear what’s reality to me.”

  Hondo handed his Speedo to Emma, “Me too. We swim almost every day, so that’s no stretch. We’ll do the rest of it like you want. We might even get into a beach volleyball game, give you some additional footage.”

  Emma liked that.

  CHAPTER 7

  At the beach, Hondo and I wore our usual outfits: well-worn Hurley board shorts that fit loose and easy. Emma got her footage of us in the water and of us in a volleyball game with some locals, then she filmed us going to the office. She gave direction like, “Ronny, tilt your head up, like you’re enjoying the feel of the sun on your face.”

  “If I do that, I can’t see where I’m walking.”

  “Hold Hondo’s hand and he can--“

  Hondo and I spoke at the same time, “Nope.”

  We compromised with me stopping and standing for a few seconds in the pose.

  Emma finished her work at our office as we drank coffee and talked. When she was satisfied, she directed Marcus to stay with us until we finished for the evening, then to rush to the editing room where she would be waiting. Emma and her entourage left with everyone still chatting like magpies.

  After they were gone I said to Marcus, “She like that all the time?”

  “Mostly. She drinks about twenty cups of café mochas a day, got that caffeine jones like you wouldn’t believe. She never slows down.”

  Hondo said, “You ready?” Marcus nodded and we headed out the door to become celebrities.

  We took the GTO because it gave Marcus more room to film, and because I really liked driving it. Marcus had us stop several times so he could change positions and film us from a side profile, especially if we said something he felt needed additional impact. It didn’t slow us down much.

  We went to Sunset and stopped at several clubs where younger people hung out and asked about the girl, then asked several groups of twenty-somethings the same thing, but got nothing, unless you counted all the curious ones who came over to be on camera. We let them because that made it easier to ask questions if they came to us rather than us finding them.

  The evening was drawing to an end when Marcus said, “I need to leave now if I’m going to make it to the editing room in time.”

  Hondo said, “Do one more thing for me. Let me talk to her straight into the camera.”

  Marcus stepped back and told Hondo where to stand for the best backdrop. He put the camera on his shoulder and said, “When you’re ready.”

  Hondo looked in the camera and talked to the girl, “Listen to me. We will help you. We’ll protect you. You’re in too much danger to do this yourself. I don’t want anything to happen to you, so come to us, any way you can, any time of the day or night. If you can’t come, call us. The number is 555-4400. We’ll come to you.” He motioned for a cut and Marcus lowered the camera.

  Marcus said, “That was good. I’ll make sure it gets on tomorrow.”

  I drove the GTO through heavy traffic back to the office and Marcus took off from there, eager to get to Emma with the footage.

  We sat at our desks and I opened my desk drawer to fiddle with the plastic fish. I moved them to uncover the Walther just for something to do while Hondo made a couple of phone calls. When he finished he said, “Things may start clicking after the broadcast. Keep your gear handy.”

  I tapped the shoulder holster under my arm. “I’ll even shower with it.”

  We both left for home and I took a detour down by the beach and parked in a space facing the ocean, feeling the need to unwind a little. I turned on the in-dash mp3 player and let the sounds of the Supremes come soft out of the speakers.

  There was still red in the sky, and the sound of the ocean was a soothing undercurrent beneath music and the talk and laughter of young people hanging out on the sand and grass until the last moment before going home.

  Three cute female teenagers trotted to the GTO to look it over. They looked me over, too, which was a little odd since I doubted they were much older than fifteen or sixteen, that age when they know so little and yet so very much. Maybe I wasn’t so old after all.

  “Nice car,” said the brunette in the red bikini. “Nice music, too. The Supremes are so good, aren’t they?”

  I was surprised she knew. “They sure are.”

  The longhaired blond beside her said, “My favorite song of theirs is Reflections. Their other stuff is good, too. All the Motown music is great.”

  I pointed at the player, “You listen to this?”

  The third girl in their group, another blond with a pixie cut and a tiny purple bikini made of dental floss and three band-aids said, “It’s great music, happier than what we have now. You feel the songs, you know? Nowadays there’s more anger and stuff, lots of yelling instead of singing.”

  “Some new music is pretty good, though,” I said.

  They nodded, then Pixie Cut said, “We listen to some new music, but a lot of this, too. This and the eighties. You’d be surprised how many kids our age are into music from the sixties.”

  The next song started. The Beatles, Yesterday. The brunette asked me, “What was it like to dance to those songs when they first came out? Were you a hippie back then?”

  There went my ego.

  **

  The next day Hondo and I had several auditions apiece at different locations across town. Marcus split his time between us, filming us doing things that caught his eye.

  The auditions involved a huge amount of driving, sitting and waiting hours for three minutes in front of the camera, then driving to the next one and doing it all over again. The good thing was we both used our phones to contact people who might have seen the girl. The bad thing was no one had seen her. We both arrived at the office late that evening.

  I brought donuts into the office for a snack and Hondo already had coffee poured. We each got a donut and I plopped into my chair, “How’d your auditions go?” I asked.

  “One was good. The others, I’m not sure.” He stood, got the donut box off my desk and put it on his table.

  “What, don’t you trust me?”

  Hondo talked around a big bite of donut, “Nope. I’ll give you one every time I get one, not before.”

  “Boy, you’re testy.”

  “Hungry, not testy.”
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  As we finished our donuts, the phone rang and Hondo punched the voice box so we could both speak. It was Emma.

  “The ratings are number four! Number four with our very first air! We have a winner, gentlemen!”

  Hondo said, “Did you get any calls from the girl?”

  “At the station? No calls from her, but hundreds of calls from viewers. They all loved it and wanted more.”

  I rose from my chair and acted like I was stretching, then moved from behind my desk and eased toward Hondo’s while he talked to Emma. “Is Marcus coming over in the morning?”

  “Yes, he’s excited about working with the two of you. Where will you be working tomorrow?”

  “We haven’t decided yet, but we’ll talk it over and be ready to go when Marcus gets here.”

  “That’s fantastic! Having Marcus film you in action from the start will make dynamic footage.”

  My thigh touched Hondo’s desk and I yawned and stretched my hands up, then bent forward like my back was stiff. My hand was two inches from the donut box when Hondo took out his knife and started sharpening it as he looked at me. Some people have no sense of humor.

  I returned to my desk as he put the knife on the desk and tossed me another donut. I poured us more coffee as Emma continued to talk. “NBC has already sent inquiries to our local station. They’re interested in going national with Lock and Load. This could be the big one, boys. Yes!” She said she had to run, and hung up.

  **

  The next morning a broad shouldered man with a bullet scar on his neck, a shaved head, and wearing an Armani suit came in the door. He took a seat without being asked. I noticed a gold earring in one ear lobe and the fact that his biceps stretched the coat sleeves almost to splitting. I thought he looked like the bald guy on the bottle of kitchen cleaner. “Gentlemen,” he said.

  “Can we help you?” Hondo asked.

  He smiled, showing very white teeth. “I hope so. I would like to hire you. I assure you the pay will be exceptional.”

  Hondo asked, “Do you have a business card?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “How about a name, do you have one of those?” I said.

  He looked at me as if deciding, then said, “I am Ajax Berenko.”

  “Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” I said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You look like Mr. Clean and your name is Ajax.”

  He gave me a thin smile, “They said you were the funny one.”

  “Tell us about the job,” Hondo said.

  Ajax said, “It would involve travel, which would be at our expense. First Class, of course.”

  “And you picked us because…?” I asked.

  “Your antics on the news and on your new show, what is it…Lock and Load?”

  “Wow, antics,” I said.

  He continued as if I hadn’t spoken, “You made an impression. I felt you would be perfect for my needs. Did I mention it will be in Europe?”

  We didn’t answer. He let a long moment of silence go by then said, “The exact location is Monaco, where you will be staying in the best accommodations available, again at my expense.”

  I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say anything, he spoke again. “By the way, have you had any luck finding the girl?” He leaned forward, still smiling. I saw the tiniest tic at the corner of his right eye.

  “We don’t really have the time to look, you know, because of all our antics,” I said.

  “That’s a shame. She obviously needs help.” He tapped his lips with a forefinger for several seconds, “Maybe I could assist you on that end.”

  “Is that right?” Hondo said.

  “I am someone who likes to see justice done, and I can tell that finding her is important to you.” He paused for effect, “So I’m willing to hire you to find this girl and cover all your expenses until she’s found, and then we can focus on the Monaco-“

  “Not interested,” Hondo said.

  “Wait, you didn’t hear my-”

  Hondo said, “You can leave now.”

  Berenko’s eyes went flat. He sat a moment, then said, “That would be a big mistake.”

  “No, it won’t,” Hondo said.

  “This does not please me.”

  I said, “Tell you what, come by next week and I’ll give you a free neck rub, ease your tension over this.”

  He rose, “We’ll see how funny this is later on.”

  He took his time rearranging his cuffs, his tie and the hang of his suit coat, none of which needed it. He looked first at me, then at Hondo. “Stop hunting for her,” he said, and walked out the door.

  I went to the window and couldn’t locate him for a second, but then saw him drive away in a black Tahoe with dark tinted windows. I couldn’t get the license plate from the window, so I ran out the door but was too late, so I returned to the office.

  “He was carrying, you notice?” Hondo said.

  “Uh-huh, under the right arm, makes him a lefty.”

  “Suit fit well, though.”

  I said, “Yeah, do they charge extra to measure for a shoulder holster? I’ve often wondered.”

  “We will never have to ask that question,” Hondo said.

  “Right, because we’re the Casual Fridays Detectives,” I said.

  “Wrong, because we can’t pay four thousand dollars for a suit.”

  “Well sure, that too.”

  Hondo said, “We need to check up on him, find out who he is.”

  I said, “And why he’s interested in the girl.”

  “For sure,” Hondo said.

  “But first shouldn’t we plan on where we’re going to eat brunch?”

  “You just ate all those donuts.”

  “I know, but I read somewhere that the best way to a fit, lean body was to eat six times a day.”

  “You must have a tapeworm the size of an anaconda.”

  “Do not.”

  Hondo said, “First, let’s go to where you last saw her and check around a little.”

  I said, “Yeah, because she was looking for something, no doubt about it.”

  Hondo shrugged, “It’s also the only thing we’ve got.”

  “Marcus should be here in a minute.”

  “He can film the search. That way we also get some film to go back over if we need it.”

  While we waited, Hondo called Sergeant Vick Best and asked him to check on our Mr. Ajax Berenko. Hondo hung up and leaned back with his fingers laced behind his head.

  As if on cue, Marcus tapped on the door and came in with his camera already rolling.

  “Hey Marcus,” I said.

  Marcus said, “What’s the game plan for today?”

  Hondo said, “Checking out the area near Sunset and Laurel Canyon.”

  Marcus said, “And try to figure out what she’s doing?”

  I said, “You want a job sleuthing? We can’t pay you but you’ll get some spiffy business cards.”

  Marcus grinned, “I’ll keep it in mind. So, we ready?”

  “Yeah,” Hondo said.

  I said, “And then we’re going to find a good place for brunch.”

  Marcus said, “I already ate.”

  I said, “Stick with me, I’ll make you and Hondo healthier.”

  Hondo said, “He’s got a tapeworm. A big one.”

  Marcus said, “He does?”

  “I do not!”

  Hondo said, “He’s embarrassed about it.”

  Marcus said, “I would be, too.”

  “Don’t force me to take you both down and gag your mouths shut. Well I would, but I’m too weak right now. I need brunch.”

  Hondo said, “I give up. We’ll find you some food after we look over the area.”

  “Deal,” I said.

  CHAPTER 8

  We took a right off the Sunset Strip onto Laurel and one block later found a small parking lot, and wonder of wonders, an empty space. We got out and locked the car, then walked down to the Sunset Strip.r />
  I said, “Go together or go separate?”

  Hondo said, “Separate. I go west, you go east.”

  Marcus said, “I can’t follow you both.”

  “You can follow Hondo,” I said, “He needs the screen time.”

  “Har har,” Hondo said. “You think twenty minutes? Ten down and ten back, and meet here?”

  “Sure,” I said, “If we don’t find something by then…”

  Marcus said, “Then there’s nothing to find anyway.”

  I said, “You sure you don’t want to join up? I’ve got a really neat Junior G-Man badge you can borrow to impress the girls.”

  “Come on,” Hondo said. Marcus grinned and shot me the finger as he followed Hondo down the street.

  What do you look for when you don’t have any idea what, if anything, is there? I ambled along and looked at doors, windows, walls, roof parapets, the street, the sidewalk, in trash cans, under trash cans, and at people walking by, which got me frightened looks, challenging looks, and three puckered kissy lips, two from girls, back at me. Nothing jumped out at me and no one had a big post-it note on their forehead with: I’m the secret you’re looking for! written on it.

  Ten minutes later, I started back, hoping that looking at the same things from a different angle would show me something. It didn’t, until I arrived back at Sunset and Laurel Canyon and stepped off the curb into the street to catch a blowing piece of newspaper so I could put it in a trashcan.

  I stepped on the paper to stop it and when I reached down to pick it up, I caught something out of the corner of my eye. I stayed bent over and turned my head.

  Under the edge of a concrete bench seat were rust-colored scrawls on the inside of one concrete leg. They weren’t like any tags or gang signs I had seen. One of the markings was like an upside down Q, another was an odd backwards E, and others were like shepherd’s staffs with the crook at the top. Why would someone paint it where people couldn’t see?

  A horn honked and scared me so bad I almost yelled. A silver-haired man in a Jaguar convertible said, “Dude, you need to read that paper on the sidewalk where it’s safe. Karma’s bad out here without some righteous armor around you.” He patted the Jag, showing his own armor. I hopped on the curb and he sped away, giving me the “hang loose” surfer sign.